Toasts

Every time I raise a beer with friends I feel the need to say something meaningful, but the only thing that comes to my lips is the rim of the glass.  To fill the moment of silence between pour and palate, I have dug up some old toasts that I have been collecting throughout the last few years. Enjoy.

-To women, song and beer, may they never be flat.

-Champagne costs too much,
 whiskey's too rough, 
vodka puts big mouths in gear.
 This little refrain
should help to explain 
why it's better to order a beer!

-Times are hard, and wagers are small, so drink more beer and fuck them all.

-For every wound, a balm. 
For every sorrow, cheer.  
For every storm, a calm. 
For every thirst, a beer.

-Here's to a long life and a merry one.
 A quick death and an easy one.
 A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer-and another one!

-Gentlemen, start your livers!

-When we drink, we get drunk.
 When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
 When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
 When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
 So let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

-JM-